I have learned (although I admit I don’t always follow it at first, but I always go back to it) Follow Your Heart. 🙂
I have spent nearly 20 years building models on commission, or as a contractor. Until about 5 years ago when I started having difficulty building anymore.
Not that I couldn’t physically do it. My Heart wasn’t in it.
But I told myself I had to keep building. It was what I knew how to do. It was something I was good at. I was earning money being artistic. I *had* to keep building.
But I found myself falling further and further behind completing client builds. What used to take me one month to do was taking me six.
Then I thought, ‘Okay. I just need a break. So I will take one for six months.’
That worked for a bit.
During that time I was thinking, and feeling, that I wanted to start writing fiction again as I used to. Plus get my tales published.
But I was afraid. I didn’t have a lot of experience (compared to model building), and many of my past experiences were not positive (if you recall from my earlier post). Plus, I kept getting ideas nearly everyday for builds I could/wanted to do (Spirit wouldn’t give me ideas if I was supposed to stop building, right? (I struggled with that, too).
So I felt I needed to keep building.
After the six month break, I felt better. More rejuvenated. I was able to complete 2 commissions and 2 personal builds that year.
Then, burned. Again. This time it was taking me longer that six months to complete a commission.
Even having difficulty building models for myself.
I took another break. About four-ish months.
After which I was able to start a few other models, including a commission that I have had for about 4 years waiting to be done (I have been SO lucky to have kick-ass clients who love my work and are patient. BTW, no. He hasn’t put money on the build yet. So he’s not lost anything).
Now, I am at a point where I have finished a Drabble Fiction story and sent it to a publisher, and have no real desire to build anymore. Even for myself. The ideas still come, but I am not as attached to them as I used to be.
I have much more desire to write.
Something that has been rearing itself more and more these past 5 years (I had always written scenes and notes and characters years before I built for pay). Now it seems my Heart has won through.
Models are being put away. Not forever (something I was afraid my Heart was telling me to do. Hence my additional inner-fighting to not write), just for now, for who knows how long.
So my suggestion is to go with what your Heart wants you to do.
You’ll be happier. 🙂
Namaste ♥
Writergirl 